Motherhood: sound bites (2)

G: Mommy, if you entered a beauty contest, you would win, for sure!

Me: Oh, I don't think so!

G: Oh, yes you would! (pause) But maybe you're a little bit too old...

Me: Too old?

G: I think you have to be between 20 and 30 years old.

Me: Actually, there are beauty contests for older women, you know.

G: Well, they wouldn't even let you participate if they saw you.

Me: Why not?!

G: Well, you are just *too* beautiful. They would turn you away at the door. All the other women would be afraid to compete against you.

Me: You know, honey, external beauty is really not the most important thing in life. I think it's more important to be a good person, to be friendly and kind to others...

G: Oh, I know that. I'm just trying to flatter you!

Me: ....

(This boy has been watching too many episodes of "Le Veline"!)

Motherhood: sound bites

Junior High School, Day 1.
After-school conversation, in the car on the way to buy school supplies.

D: "Junior High is great! I'm so glad to be finished with elementary school! I feel so big now!"

Mom: "I'm so happy for you, honey!"

D: "Yeah! I can't believe it...I never thought I'd get to this age!"

Mom: "What?"

D: "Well, yeah, with all the risks out there in the world..."

Mom: "What?!"

D: "Yeah, like that time you pulled me out of the path of a moving car...or that time I almost drowned...I'm lucky to be alive!"

Mom: "Oh, dear..."