Saturday, October 10, 2009

Lover's Field


I'm sure you've heard of "Lover's Lane," a street where young couples without better accomodations go to make out. Well, I live next to an entire "Lover's Field."

My house is sort of out in the countryside, or what passes for countryside around here. We are (as the title of my blogs says) truly located amid the olive trees, amid groves of olive trees.

Our house was unoccupied for 10 years before we came to live here and it apparently became a popular destination for the making-out-in-cars set. When we first moved in we would find people doing their thing while parked right across our front gate! Needless to say, that made it kind of difficult to get in and out of the driveway...

Slowly, people seem to have figured out that the house is now occupied and so they have moved their activities over to the field next-door. This field has become such a hit that a dirt road has been cut into the ground from cars entering and exiting it with such frequency!

So who cares, right? I'm all for the philosophy of live and let live. I mean, these "visitors" are quiet. They drive in, do their business and drive out. So what's the problem?

Well, actually, there are some drawbacks to the situation. For one, I have young children and these folks do not necessarily limit their rendevous (what's the plural form of rendevous? rendevouses?!) to after-dark hours. What am I supposed to say to my boys? "No, those naked people in that car? They're just chatting sweetie, it's nothing!"

Another problem is that these folks are litterbugs. They treat the area in front of my house (yes, there are still some who have not yet transferred over to the field) and the olive grove like dumps. Almost every morning we find pizza boxes, beer cans, empty cigarette packs, used tissues, you name it. One day my mother-in-law came to visit and as she stepped out of the car, she stepped onto a used condom! Aaaaah! Luckily, she didn't notice...

And then there are the singles. Yes, that's right, the singles. Men who seem to be inspired by fresh air and nature to undertake certain types of do-it-yourself activities. Please, let's not even dwell on this one...

My husband jokes and says he's going to set up a kiosk out in the field, selling tissues, condoms, cold drinks, snacks...

9 comments:

Pat Spadavecchia said...

That is FABULOUS AND FUNNYYYY! The idea of KIOSK.love it.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

I think your husband should go ahead! "If you can't beat 'em...."

Pat Spadavecchia said...

Hey Frank; do nut forget the cigarettes!

Scintilla @ Bell'Avventura said...

This is hilarious. All Italians roads have a pulling out point for parkers but I don't think that I'd want them next door especially the litter of unsavoury items :)
Actually, they might appreciate a granita in the hotter months.

PATTZI said...

I do not believe they have a granita in mind.

Fern Driscoll said...

I suppose setting out a trash bucket wouldn't work?... it would probably still be too much trouble for your annoying litterbugs. I'm constantly amazed at the ubiquity of littering - even here in the north. I watched an actual friend ball up a piece of paper and toss it on the sidewalk - and was speechless.
We really and truly lived on Lovers Lane when we lived in the States - but we didn't see 10% of the action you're getting. Why not set up a toll booth at the same time you put up the kiosk?

Emily said...

Hilarious! I love the idea of a kiosk...but still, yuck. Maybe you should invest in something really bright. A porch light? Stadium lights? Something!

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Buon Natale, Saretta!

Leah Marie Brown said...

I know it must be irritating for you, but your predicament is rather funny, from the outside looking in.