The Gassy Goddess of Love

This morning I woke up to older son Danny bursting into the bedroom at 6:30 a.m.

Me: "Danny, it's too early, go back to bed."

Danny: "Brrr, mmm, ughlsk..."

Well, there was no arguing with that logic so I made space for him in the bed and tried to go back to sleep. Right. Once I'm awake, I'm awake. So at 6:45 I rolled out of bed and started my usual wintertime getting-out-of-bed-in-the-morning routine. This involves putting a fleece bathrobe on over my pyjamas, digging the heavy socks I went to sleep in out from the depths of the sheets and blankets at the foot of the bed and putting those on, grabbing a fleece blanket and wrapping it around my waist. Very attractive, I assure you!

But this morning all those layers were not enough. It was cold. Unusually cold. I decided to add another fleece jacket to my ensemble, jacking my attractiveness factor up to Michelin Man level. That's just one step below Goodyear Blimp level.

I have it on good authority (trust me!) that the Michelin Man is very sexy. He has even been compared to Venus, so what am I worried about? The more layers, the closer I am to the Goddess of Love!
The radiators were all stone cold. Bad sign. But, it has happened before. We live in a big house out in the countryside and sometimes things break. Luckily I am married to the Man-Who-Can-Do-Everything (very useful to have around - every woman should have one) and whenever household disaster strikes I know that all I have to do is call out "Franceeeeescoooo" and things will soon be set to right.

Unfortunately, Mr. Fix-it's diagnosis was that we were out of gas, completely out of gas. No gas is a problem. A lot of our basic household needs are met by that big tank of liquid propane gas buried out there in the front yard. No gas means no heating, no stovetop cooking, no hot water to wash the dishes, no hot water for taking a shower! And after two days in bed, one with back spasms and another to avoid freezing to death, let me tell you that I stink!

Finally, the gas truck came this afternoon and topped off our tank. I can't wait for the water to heat up so I can jump in the shower. My family can't wait either!